Avast! Thar be spoilers ahead!

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Avatar was terrible. How can anyone have spent so much time and money on a movie without even trying to write a script for it. It was just Disney's Pocahontas with blue cat furries, artwork stolen from Roger Dean (art designer for Yes), and the Dunbar from Dances with Wolves. I didn't even get to enjoy the 3-D since, despite buying tickets days in advance online and waiting a very long time in a very long line, we still ended up sitting way off to one side of the screen. The angle was so nauseous that my mother left about a quarter through the movie.

If you were to read the "artists'" description of the themes and influences, you might think this movie was pretty deep. But I don't go for five and dime morality. But don't let their make-believe integrity fool you. According to Cameron, the whole love story wouldn't work out unless the blue chick was sexy as all get out.

This isn't even sci-fi. It's just a cheap knock off without the Disney song. Oh, and with a lot of magic since Marine Moron was explaining everything. James Cameron, you fail.

I know that none of my observations will sound original because almost everyone has noticed the similarities between the hijacked works of others and this travesty. But in my defense, these are my observations. I noticed the similarity to Roger Dean immediately in the dragon things and the mountains. I have a whole collection of what might be considered Roger Dean trading cards, a complete deck of them plus some spares. Other people have pointed out that the story is a lot like Fern Gully but I can't remember that movie from my childhood.

I really hope I do not have to endure any more of this Avatar stuff but I fear that Cameron will see his financial success as artistic success and make a sequel.

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